Establishing Trust, a Coach’s Perspective

Being able to establish trust and the sort of intimacy needed to properly coach clients is a required skill.

Some coaches are born with this ability, many of us are not. We have to learn it.

What brought this topic of trust to the fore-front was that I have spent most of this week in two coach-training events. One for a corporate client and the other group was blended between independent coaches intending to create their own practice and managers in small businesses.

I witnessed evidence of high trust on a palpable, moving level in the later group. (Since I’m not finished training the corporate group, I’m not ready to talk about their level of trust at this time.)

The exercise you are about to witness was a simple warm-up to training these coaches how to use effective feedback tools.

I took the group outside and asked them to place their toes on a fresh, white, chalk line designating the edge of a soccer field.

Directing the group to place their toes on the line, I showed them the blindfolds that we would be using for this activity and explained that half of them would need to be blindfolded and then led to a designation that only their guide would get to know.

I made sure that they understood that they didn’t have to be blind folded for this activity if they felt uncomfortable. I asked that only those people that could totally trust anyone in the group to be their guide remain on the line. Astoundingly, nobody stepped off the line. Everyone was willing to be guided by anyone else in the group.


How do I explain such trust within this group after only two days of working together?

The first thought I have is that these individuals came with confidence and the ability to trust simply because of who they are.

My next hunch is that we already had a bond between me and the individuals. All but one of the clients was someone I had coached, trained or had taken time to visit with over coffee.

Additionally, l believe that trust was high due to applying the following traits and skills during time spent before the training but also within the methodology of the training itself.

Let me share these items as a bullet list of ways to “be” (versus “act as if”) if you want to establish trust and grow intimacy:

  • Have genuine concern for the other person’s welfare and future.
  • Continually practice and demonstrate personal integrity, honesty, and sincerity.
  • Establish clear agreements.
  • Keep promises.
  • Have respect for and demonstrate this toward the other person’s learning style, perceptions and personal being.
  • Provide ongoing support and champion this person and their projects, dreams and ideas.
  • Ask permission to have conversations within sensitive areas.



A Twist on Goal Setting

I recently sat at coffee with a sharp young man named Nico Pesci. I find him driven and bright. And what he shared with me that morning was a new twist on how he set his New Years goals. I found his experience worth sharing and I have permission to let you in on our nine-minute conversation.

Have a listen, and let me know what you think about Nico’s new method for goal setting. Maybe you have one you’d like to share. Let me know.

A Twist On Goal Setting by soulsaltinc


Check out the book Flow By Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi 

Appearing to be Perfect

Appearing to be Perfect

“Appearing to be perfect is more the norm than we as Americans are often willing to admit.” These are the words that came out of an up-and-coming entrepreneur’s mouth recently when we met for coffee. Lauren is a young, successful Real Estate agent. I requested the meeting because I admire how quickly she has gained respect and a certain level of street credibility.

In our conversation she spoke of her forty-something friends who recently confessed that they have too big of a home (which equals too large of a mortgage), too small of a bank account (which means little if any savings), too many toys (which includes a boat they can’t fully enjoy because it has maxed out their credit). In Lauren’s words, “These people told me they ‘look perfect’ on the outside and their financial condition could topple any moment into ruins.” I would add that any appearance of perfect is typically vulnerable and topples easily as well.

How did Lauren become so wise about finances? The hard way. She’s 30 and expecting her first child. She is well versed in encountering financial barrens because she’s been there. At one point she was drowning in credit card debt – she owed half her annual salary. Much of her current peace-of-mind and accomplishment have come from hard work and because she decided to re-think her concept of wealth. She decided that the only way to get out of debt was to make changes, pay the consequences, and lose a few friends along the way (because sometimes the company we keep expects us to keep up with the Joneses). She knows first-hand not only what it means to improve her credit score, she knows how it feels to be debt free.

Wealth in Lauren’s mind is actually the inverse of what most of us hold in our minds when we think of the word. Most of us think of wealth and imagine possessions. We see visions of a large home, a boat, several cars, vacations and on and on. Lauren would tell you that wealth means low-overhead, no debt and living so well within your means that you can live in a bikini on a beach for a month without any consequences.

If Lauren could offer up a piece of free advice on how to do what she is doing it would be this:

“Live honestly and be happy.”

And I would add a challenge to Lauren’s advice: If you are ready to start living honestly and be happy connect with us for coaching to help you do just that.

Lyn Christian is a life strategist and a coach dedicated to supporting people who want to re-imagine themselves and then reach their new version. Lyn can be found at:,, or 801-463-5239.